Crochet Monday

   So I am pleased to say that I have finished the washcloth that I have been staring at for the last few weeks!  I did not get around to doing the complete baby set that I had talked about, but am learning and perfecting baby booties from a pattern I bought on etsy.  Hopefully they turn out.  I find that I crochet rather loosely and that makes it difficult to get sizes right, even when I check my gauge, which is my least favorite part of crocheting.  I mean, if I've picked my yarn, have the right needle and understand the pattern I can't usually stop myself from starting the actual project.  Horrible mistake, I know and I have many oversized hats and abandoned booties to prove that if I just need to buckle down and not skip this step.

  Also coming off of my hook this week are two new baby hats.  They are worked in a shell stitch pattern I found on Ravelry.com and I added a little flower of my own to it.  The blue one was supposed to be for Brooklynne, but as I said I'm horrible at checking my gauge and it ended up being meant more for a 6-12 month baby and so started over with a pink hat for her.  It should fit a little better, but I'm still iffy and a little bummed because I really wanted her to have a different color in her wardrobe other than pink, and it was such a lovely blue.  Anyways, here they are :)

Where I've been

  Have you ever drove by a high school or college campus and said, "wow those kids are young!"  Me too.  I know a lot of you who realize my age are thinking, "yeah ok.. you ARE that age."  Not really though.

  Even though I'm only 20 years old, sometimes I think I have the life experience of a much older and wiser person because even though I'm only 20, I've lived on my own since I was 16, I got married at 18, and am working on having my second baby.   Growing up, my parents weren't really parents.  I'd say the biggest "parental" thing they ever did was conceive and give birth to me.  Because of this I basically grew up without a child hood.  I'm my moms youngest child of 6, so even though I was only 5 or 6 years old at the time she moved with all of us out of my dad's house, I think she must have already considered me to be an adult.  She would sort of just randomly leave at night, expecting my brother and sister to take care of ourselves, my brother being 7 or 8 and my sister 9 or 10.  So, I grew up really fast.  Considering that we lived in an extremely flammable single wide trailer, she's lucky we didn't burn it down while she was gone.   She met my step dad (who would leave her years later for his dead boss' millionaire widow) at a bar one night, and from then on we had a very specific routine.  I'd get home from school.  She'd get home an hour later.  Every once in a while they would cook dinner, then either go outside with a 12 or 24 pack of Busch bear or head to the bar.  I don't remember ever playing a game with my mom, going for a walk, watching a movie unless it was r rated, or going anywhere with her at all.

  I remember all of these things, and then I think about where I am now, as a 20 year old that most people would expect to be on a college campus somewhere partying every night.  I realize just how good my life is.  I have a wonderful  husband, two beautiful babies and a God that provides for my every need.  I grew up with dysfunctional immaturity at it's lamest, why would I want that to be my life.  I will not be 50-something drunk and passed out on my couch with some random moocher guy next to me.  Lincoln and I will celebrate our 50th anniversary, we already have a wonderful family,  and that's my inspiration: where I've been and where I am now.  I guess I can thank my mom for wasting her life so much that it made it impossible for me to even consider missing a single second of mine with my family.  My son and I have a daily routine too.  It involves waking up and playing together, eating meals together, watching Bob the Builder on rainy days, going for walks on sunny ones, going to bed with a night time story and kisses.  All of the things my parents never once did with me.
 
  I guess that's why I was really nervous when I got married young and almost immediately became pregnant because I didn't want to be the type of parent my mom was.  However, when you grow up with dysfunctional parents, you have two choices:  1. accept them as they are and follow in their footsteps or 2.  realize how crazy they are and run from every single decision they are making and have made and actually live your life.  I'm living my life and though I know I still have a lot to learn, I am inspired by that too.  To paraphrase socrates, a wise woman knows she knows nothing.  THAT is such an inspiring way to live life, knowing that you always have something to learn.  With mother's day coming up, I am inspired by my moms example, not in the way that I wish to copy it, but in the way that I want to learn from everything I feel she did wrong, this Sunday and every day.  

Knitting Thursday

So, today I spent the entire day give or take a few hours with my husband and son, and got absolutely no knitting done.  I did however find a mannequin on sale at Ross which I bought and am very excited about. Not sure what it is actually intended for since it's made out of wire, but I think it'll serve it's purpose to showcase the million scarves on my etsy site.  I'm excited about it, and I just posted some new pics of one scarf to test out the response of the mannequin photos versus the old ones.  Pray the new ones bring in more views and some sales! :)

For the rest of the night I will be working on my sons baby blanket and maybe finish a hat that I crocheted (yes I know it's not technically knitting) so that I can post it on etsy later :)  So, in summary, no new knitted products today, but definitely got some inspiration from the mannequin :)

Weekly Featured Sellers!

I want to feature you on my blog! So, tuesdays postings are going to be set up to feature various etsy artists that I find interesting and who have great products.  If you would like to be featured on my blog, just post a comment on my blog. Make sure to leave a link to your shop so that I can contact you there and check out your products!  I will pick one person a week as long, what a great way to advertise your product!  Don't forget to follow my blog, giveaways to follow in the future!

In the world of crochet: Being afraid of the art of yarn

So, I already have killed my schedule, after only two days, but no worries we will try again this week :)

I have often heard from creative people that the hardest part of creating something is the idea that you will fail, an idea so frightening that it makes the creator not even want to try in the first place.  This is especially true for writing because writing is such a creation of self, that when people read one's writing they can in some ways read about the writer herself.  I also think that this is true of all other crafts to some degree, and it's terrifying.

So, in my world of crochet, I am fearful at the moment.  I am afraid to keep creating because of the lack of sales in my etsy shop, and even more fearful to write about the fact that I'm afraid.  So, I guess in a way that is what this blog is about, me conquering my fear of people knowing that I am creative, that I'm both a writer and an artist of yarn.

As far as projects go, I have been crocheting the same washcloth, a project that should take about an hour (or two if I'm really distracted) for the past week.  It is very similar to the blue washcloths in my shop, only lime green.  It is going to be a part of a baby boy basket that I had the idea for.  In the basket should be two baby blue washcloths and one green one, two hats of different sizes and maybe baby booties if I ever master the craft.  I have big ideas, but definitely need to get over this washcloth.  The bottom line though is that I do believe that I have the ability to be successful at running my own craft business, but I just have to get past this fear of failure, because if I already have decided that I'm going to fail, then how can I ever succeed?

I wonder, what do other people do when they get to the point of fear that I'm at, feeling like you're just on the point of breaking through to success, but can't quite figure out how to take the next step?  I guess the first part of taking that step is to just finish a gosh darn wash cloth.  Hopefully, next monday I'll have a picture of a washcloth, or maybe the entire baby boy set I envisioned for you all to see.  Optimism  begets more optimism and ultimate success right?  Maybe optimism, even if it is a little forced, is all I need to get over this fear.

What's inspiring me :)

  Being pregnant and having an 11 month old can be quite inspiring.  It's what's driving me right now to want to continue my business on etsy, even though I haven't had a sale in more than a month, and only 4 since my shop started.  However discouraging that might be, my dream is to be bale to provide for my babies while still being a stay at home mommy, and I also want to show them that just because something doesn't take off right away doesn't mean that it can't be a success.  I don't want my babies to think I'm a quitter.  I also don't want them to think that things come so easy in life that they will always immediately be successful at everything, or that if they aren't then it's not worth it.


  It would be so worth it to me to be able to run my own business from the privacy of my home, maybe in our office/ craft room of the beautiful two story house that my husband and I purchase.  I grew up in a very poor family.  I was the sixth child on my moms side, only child on my dads, but my parents split up when I was 5 or 6.  So, I lived off of hand-me-downs and remember for quite a while that I didn't even have a bed, but slept on the floor of our two bedroom single wide trailer that housed my mom and stepdad, her 3 kids that weren't out of the house and his three as well.  That was 4 girls and 2 boys and 2 parents, and I was the youngest and therefor felt the least seen or taken care of.  I never want that for my children.  I guess that's why when I found out that I was having a baby girl, I immediately went out and spent far too much money on anything and everything that read the word "princess".  I could just as easily spend hundreds of dollars on "prince" outfits for Milo, my son if I could find them in the stores and convince my husband to let him wear them.


  My inspiration is my babies, and everything in life that I want for my babies that I didn't have and everything that every little prince and princess deserves.  They are the most special to me, two of the biggest blessings God has given me in my life.  I am so proud of how my husband manages to provide for the four of us while going to school.  He provides a beautiful apartment for us, food in our cupboards, our clothes and all of his time.  But, I want to be part of that provision as well.  Every time I hold my son or feel my little girl kick, it inspires me to be a better mommy.  

Milo, my inspiration

A schedule

I have decided to create a schedule for my blog, that way I have a specific topic on a specific day to talk about and I know what to write about.  I started this blog thinking I would blog daily as sort of a thing to end my day, or to motivate me to crochet, but I have failed horribly.  Enough of the huge gaps between my writing! I gotta get down to business.

Monday:   Crochet Monday:  Newest projects that I have started, stitches I am learning, maybe a pattern or two, WHO KNOWS?! Tune in :)

Tuesday:  Cruising around Etsy: New shops I found, my new favorite items, etc.

Wednesday: Open

Thursday:  Knitting Thursday:  I will spend my whole day thursday dedicated to knitting, and share my progress on projects, especially my sons baby blanket which I still haven't finished and he will be turning 1 in a month!

Friday: Open

Saturday:  What inspires you?  Talk about what's inspiring me creatively and in life in general.

Sunday:  What's new in my JT (Jesus time)